Tuesday, September 22, 2009
"She's the brownest in our family"
Last Friday was the first day of preschool for my four-year-old son, Jack. As Jack and I walked into the lobby, all eyes were on us. Not just because we are a transracial family and I have transracial twins, (Stella is eight-monts-old and Eli is four-months-old and they are both 16 lbs) but because I had an infant carrier in one arm, Stella in the other arm, and Jack clinging to my leg while we tried to get through the doorway. Once we get into the lobby, I became painfully aware of how disheveled I appeared. My first mission was to pry Jack off my leg without dropping either baby. Then I attempted to make small talk with the other parents who all appeared to have had time to shower. One of the parents I chatted with decided to introduce them self to Jack:
Parent: Hello, what’s your name?
Jack: Jack.
Parent: This must be your baby brother.
Jack: Yes and this is my baby sister. She is the brownest in our family.
Parent: What?
Me: Oh (nervous laughter) nothing.
Jack: (very loudly) SHE IS THE BROWNEST IN OUR FAMILY.
Parent: oh.
While it is true Stella is the brownest in our family, somehow Jack announcing this in his outdoor voice seemed to make everyone uncomfortable. Why? I think this is because CC people tend to be afraid to talk about race publicly; lest we appear racist. In telling the story later to friends and family, we all got a good laugh, but in the moment it happened, the room went dead. All in all this was a much better first day of preschool than last time. That time, Jack clung to my leg with a death grip, and me and my pregnant self ran over the director’s foot with my stroller. Oh yeah, and did I mention the director had just undergone an operation on her foot?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
http://www.newsweek.com/id/214989/page/1
ReplyDeleteThis article is one best articles I have read on this very topic. Everyone should take a look at it.
ReplyDeleteAfter I read the above article I wanted to follow up with Jack.
ReplyDeleteMom: Jack what color our you?
Jack: Brown
Mom: Then what color is Stella
Jack: The brownest
During the talk I discovred that in my 4-year-old's eyes we are all different shades of the same color. I then asked why Stella was "browner" he replied "Thats the way Jesus made her" (duh mom). This opened up to have a small talk about why people our differnt colors/
I have to say that I love Jack's response. Not only is it cute, but true! And your right, most CC people I run into pretend that my baby is just "sun tanned" and not bi-racial. If his race does come up, they act surprised and swear that they would have never of guessed had I not told them. Yeah, right! And I can totally relate to you feeling like all eyes are on you. I do shower and try to look decent when I'm out in public, maybe it's the bulky stroller or the lack of sleep, because I see people eye-balling me all the time. Sometimes I'll catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror somewhere and be surprised to see dark bags under my eyes or my hair messed up. I ran into the principle of my older son’s school with the stroller at open house night and I am constantly running into other things when I am out. People must think that I am a nut job…lol!! Glad to see that I am not alone.
ReplyDeleteTasha.... Jack is pretty insightful for his 4 years of age! Although my family is not biracial/transracial (I don't know the politically correct term), I have great respect for you and Lori and all those families who are (no matter what the combination of races). I like Jack's explanation of how Stella is "brownest" because it really is interesting and correct. I think of my own family & some of us tan more than others or have different skin tones although we're all Caucasian, but to someone outside looking in, I can see how we're all just different shades of the same color. I absolutely LOVE how he said that that's the way Jesus made us too. You & Lori are wonderful moms & I honestly don't know how you do it all!! I've thought many times about fostering and/or adoption, but always say we couldn't afford adoption & I don't know that my emotions could handle fostering even though I feel bad for all the children in that situation.... I don't know that I could handle it whenever they left our family. Anyway.... this was a great experience to share!
ReplyDelete